Day 25: Answers: Part 2
As promised on Day 18, today I'll answer the second round of questions.
Someone who is hurting asked:
Some of your most poignant posts on Team Tinsley were about your mother. You even wrote 'grief is funny and apparently has no statute of limitations.' You don't write about her much anymore. Do you still grieve for your Mom?
aboynamedstu answer:
Talk about ego stroking. Being quoted in a question (actually it is the second time in as many weeks that I've heard someone quoted something I wrote. If it keeps up my head will get big enough to look right with my Ginormous forehead!)
The short answer is yes. I do. Often at odd times. Big things don't faze me all that much anymore (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.) It's the little things that get me. Watching one of the Boy(s) do or say something. The way they look. Those are the things that make my heart hurt that my Mom is missing it. My Dad even said that's one of the things that causes him the most pain. That she doesn't get to see any of that sort of stuff. Overall though, as I've written to the point of ad nauseam, grief for me is very much akin to an injury. It hurts bad at first. Then over time the wound heals. It doesn't hurt the same. Even though it still hurts. You also have the scar. And the little moments I mentioned at first, cause the old injury to ache (like my collar bone will do–I broke it–when it's going to rain.) I still think that grief is funny too. How people deal with it. Act around it. It's the stuff of nightmares for most. Stick your head in the sand, don't think or talk about it. Which I think is a tremendous disservice to most. Especially children who have to deal with it.
Anonymous asked:
Who was your first love?
aboynamedstu answer:
Julie Lunn. Not even sure if that is the correct spelling of her name. It was clearly puppy love. Star crossed lovers if you can be lovers in 6th grade? We did make out at Skate World (in the corner!) She lived in the Widow's Colony. We went on what might have been my first date date. Even though we had to have parents drive us. We went to see Every Which Way But Lose with Gordon Tipton and Lori Trundle (why can I remember her last name and not Julie's?) She told me that popcorn made her fart. Then she left me for Troy. Bitch. Broke my heart.
Septemberist (a.k.a. Erica) asked:
You, a movie theatre, an infinite selection of films. What's on the playlist?
aboynamedstu answer:
This question makes me feel like Ed from Northern Exposure. Of all the questions asked this is the hardest to answer (which is funny to me.) I love movies. All kinds. Classics. Popcorn. Adventure. Hell, I even like bad movies when they are so bad they are good. For this question though I imagined myself running my own hip movie house that serves beer and does double features each night of the week. Movies that are connected, thematically, in my head at least. Each movie selected has special meaning to me and was pretty much selected top of mind so I could get 'er done!
Sunday Nigh
The Searchers
Rio Bravo
Monday Night
A River Runs Through It
Field of Dreams
Tuesday Night
High Fidelity
About a Boy
Wednesday Night
Bronco Billy
Shawshank Redemption
Thursday Night
Pulp Fiction
Boogie Nights
Friday Night
Goodfellas
Saving Private Ryan
Saturday Night:
Fight Club
Three Kings
Until I BLOG again...One of my favorite scenes from Three Kings. That movie is greatness. If you've never seen it. Check it out!
Someone who is hurting asked:
Some of your most poignant posts on Team Tinsley were about your mother. You even wrote 'grief is funny and apparently has no statute of limitations.' You don't write about her much anymore. Do you still grieve for your Mom?
aboynamedstu answer:
Talk about ego stroking. Being quoted in a question (actually it is the second time in as many weeks that I've heard someone quoted something I wrote. If it keeps up my head will get big enough to look right with my Ginormous forehead!)
The short answer is yes. I do. Often at odd times. Big things don't faze me all that much anymore (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.) It's the little things that get me. Watching one of the Boy(s) do or say something. The way they look. Those are the things that make my heart hurt that my Mom is missing it. My Dad even said that's one of the things that causes him the most pain. That she doesn't get to see any of that sort of stuff. Overall though, as I've written to the point of ad nauseam, grief for me is very much akin to an injury. It hurts bad at first. Then over time the wound heals. It doesn't hurt the same. Even though it still hurts. You also have the scar. And the little moments I mentioned at first, cause the old injury to ache (like my collar bone will do–I broke it–when it's going to rain.) I still think that grief is funny too. How people deal with it. Act around it. It's the stuff of nightmares for most. Stick your head in the sand, don't think or talk about it. Which I think is a tremendous disservice to most. Especially children who have to deal with it.
Anonymous asked:
Who was your first love?
aboynamedstu answer:
Julie Lunn. Not even sure if that is the correct spelling of her name. It was clearly puppy love. Star crossed lovers if you can be lovers in 6th grade? We did make out at Skate World (in the corner!) She lived in the Widow's Colony. We went on what might have been my first date date. Even though we had to have parents drive us. We went to see Every Which Way But Lose with Gordon Tipton and Lori Trundle (why can I remember her last name and not Julie's?) She told me that popcorn made her fart. Then she left me for Troy. Bitch. Broke my heart.
Septemberist (a.k.a. Erica) asked:
You, a movie theatre, an infinite selection of films. What's on the playlist?
aboynamedstu answer:
This question makes me feel like Ed from Northern Exposure. Of all the questions asked this is the hardest to answer (which is funny to me.) I love movies. All kinds. Classics. Popcorn. Adventure. Hell, I even like bad movies when they are so bad they are good. For this question though I imagined myself running my own hip movie house that serves beer and does double features each night of the week. Movies that are connected, thematically, in my head at least. Each movie selected has special meaning to me and was pretty much selected top of mind so I could get 'er done!
Sunday Nigh
The Searchers
Rio Bravo
Monday Night
A River Runs Through It
Field of Dreams
Tuesday Night
High Fidelity
About a Boy
Wednesday Night
Bronco Billy
Shawshank Redemption
Thursday Night
Pulp Fiction
Boogie Nights
Friday Night
Goodfellas
Saving Private Ryan
Saturday Night:
Fight Club
Three Kings
Until I BLOG again...One of my favorite scenes from Three Kings. That movie is greatness. If you've never seen it. Check it out!
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