Day 22: A Favorite Joke
To be such a funny guy I don't really do jokes. Not knock-knock or 'A guy walks into a bar with a duck' type of jokes at least. I'm more about a great quip. Or pointing out the comedy in a common, day-in-the-life type of situation. Or doing a bit. Real life funny. No joke funny.
Still, I do have what I call stock jokes. These are bits and/or quips I trot out every chance I get. The first I ever remember doing I did for the first time as aboynamedstu. Literally.
It went something like this:
My Mom (the late great Joyce Tinsley:) Mrs. (insert name of close childhood friend) is having surgery tomorrow morning so (insert close childhood friend name) is going to stay with us for a few days.
aboynamedstu v10 (circa 1977:) Why is (insert name of close childhood friend) having surgery tomorrow?
My Mom (the late great Joyce Tinsley:) She's having a hysterectomy.
aboynamedstu v10 (circa 1977:) Does that mean her rectum is history?
I still find this joke funny. Maybe because it got a laugh out of my Mom? But then again she was my Mom so she kind of had to laugh, right?
Another stock joke is if someone tells me so-and-so is pregnant, my first reply will almost always be: 'that means so-and-so had sex.
God help My Lovely Bride because I have probably a handful of these goofy stock jokes.
Another favorite kind of joke thing that I do, which is really more of a bit, is to pose doing something to see what sort of wheels off comedic situation it will create. The recent post about the kid calling Big Boy the n-word is a good example of that. Most people would have simply ignored the kid, paid, and left. I questioned him and bam, I end up with a funny (and disturbing) comedic situation that I'm still talking about.
But here's the thing BLOG reader. For every bit I do, I have a handful that are left unrealized because I won't cross over the line to do them for various reasons. I usually will share them with someone, and pose it as a what if we did...scenario. A great example of this happened the other day at work.
Again. Let me stress. I did NOT do this. To do it would probably get me in severe trouble at work. But fuck me, I wish I could/would have done it.
I went something like this: A lady at work (who is kind of uptight and very straight laced) emails me and three other people who all arrive before 8am each day that an accountant named Eric is coming by the next morning with a package for her (she usually arrives around 9am.) She explains that the package is important and asked that we get the envelope from Eric and give it to her.
Now most people would read that and just think, sure, I can do that.
I'm not most people.
My first though is, how awesome it would be if I was the one that greeted Eric the accountant the next morning. Then when I took his package, I had one ready for him, presumably from the lady at work. Or so he would think. Only it would be from me. And inside the envelope would be a pair of panties.
The possibilities of this possible joke make me literally gag with laughter. Wondering what Eric the accountant would do or say. What the lady from work would do and say if Eric questioned her about it? Came onto her? How wheels off would this one act become.
Alas, I need my job more than my comedy, so I refrained.
Until I BLOG again...I started a joke.
aboyanemdstu update: After posting this, because again I suck in real time, I realized that today is April Fools Day! How cherry is that considering the subject.
Still, I do have what I call stock jokes. These are bits and/or quips I trot out every chance I get. The first I ever remember doing I did for the first time as aboynamedstu. Literally.
It went something like this:
My Mom (the late great Joyce Tinsley:) Mrs. (insert name of close childhood friend) is having surgery tomorrow morning so (insert close childhood friend name) is going to stay with us for a few days.
aboynamedstu v10 (circa 1977:) Why is (insert name of close childhood friend) having surgery tomorrow?
My Mom (the late great Joyce Tinsley:) She's having a hysterectomy.
aboynamedstu v10 (circa 1977:) Does that mean her rectum is history?
I still find this joke funny. Maybe because it got a laugh out of my Mom? But then again she was my Mom so she kind of had to laugh, right?
Another stock joke is if someone tells me so-and-so is pregnant, my first reply will almost always be: 'that means so-and-so had sex.
God help My Lovely Bride because I have probably a handful of these goofy stock jokes.
Another favorite kind of joke thing that I do, which is really more of a bit, is to pose doing something to see what sort of wheels off comedic situation it will create. The recent post about the kid calling Big Boy the n-word is a good example of that. Most people would have simply ignored the kid, paid, and left. I questioned him and bam, I end up with a funny (and disturbing) comedic situation that I'm still talking about.
But here's the thing BLOG reader. For every bit I do, I have a handful that are left unrealized because I won't cross over the line to do them for various reasons. I usually will share them with someone, and pose it as a what if we did...scenario. A great example of this happened the other day at work.
Again. Let me stress. I did NOT do this. To do it would probably get me in severe trouble at work. But fuck me, I wish I could/would have done it.
I went something like this: A lady at work (who is kind of uptight and very straight laced) emails me and three other people who all arrive before 8am each day that an accountant named Eric is coming by the next morning with a package for her (she usually arrives around 9am.) She explains that the package is important and asked that we get the envelope from Eric and give it to her.
Now most people would read that and just think, sure, I can do that.
I'm not most people.
My first though is, how awesome it would be if I was the one that greeted Eric the accountant the next morning. Then when I took his package, I had one ready for him, presumably from the lady at work. Or so he would think. Only it would be from me. And inside the envelope would be a pair of panties.
The possibilities of this possible joke make me literally gag with laughter. Wondering what Eric the accountant would do or say. What the lady from work would do and say if Eric questioned her about it? Came onto her? How wheels off would this one act become.
Alas, I need my job more than my comedy, so I refrained.
Until I BLOG again...I started a joke.
aboyanemdstu update: After posting this, because again I suck in real time, I realized that today is April Fools Day! How cherry is that considering the subject.
Very apropos for you to post on April 1 -- I STILL laugh out loud at the time you added your own words to someone elses postcard. I actually shared that one with my office! Seriously hilarious.
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