Stand Up!
You could call it karma, not that Tony believed in such a concept. He was convinced that anything south of his brand of conservative Christianity was of and for the devil and those that did not believe what he believed were going to hell.
He also believed Jesus was white and had a crew cut.
Which is why you could call it karma.
It was in that make shift locker room of my grade school, that Gordon and I were teasing Tony about his brand of Christianity.
Gordon said, "Tony, you know Jesus had long hair..."
Gordon would always pause after that opening line. Let it set there unanswered for a few tense moments before he landed the zinger, "...Like a long haired....HIPPIE!"
Tony did not believe Jesus has long hair as I've already stated. Tony also believed that hippies, with their long hair, funky clothing, and wanton ways, were all devil loving, morally bankrupt individuals who were going to hell. Which is why Tony would become enraged when Gordon made these type of comments.
Then you had me, who said, "I don't think Jesus was white either Tony, he was from the middle east and a Jew, and most people from over there are NOT white."
Tony was extremely white. Blonde hair that was nearly white, blue eyes, and pale skin which meant when he became enraged at our blasphemous taunts his pale cheeks became inflamed a bright red.
The final straw for Tony was when we reminded him, in that fighting mad state that not only was Jesus a long haired hippie, more than likely swarthy, and a Jew from the Middle East, he was also a pacifist.
That sent Tony over the edge. At which point Gordon and I who had already changed into our gym clothes, would run out of the locker room to escape his rampage.
Which is why you could call it karma. You see BLOG reader, it was at the end of that gym class, in front of the 4th, 5th, and 6th grades, that I was attempting to dismount the trampoline.
God love the 1970s of my youth. You could actually employ a trampoline in gym class sans padding, or guards, in the middle of a gym with hardwood floors without fear of being sued if some dumb ass kid did something stupid on the trampoline.
Which was good, because I was that dumb ass kid disembarking the trampoline when my extremely short, terrycloth gym shorts caught on one of the trampoline springs. Problem was I didn't know that yet, I wouldn't know I was stuck until I was hanging by said shorts above the gym floor.
Yes.
Hanging.
In a karmic wedgie of Biblical proportion. Until that terrycloth fabric surrendered to the trampoline spring and gravity and ripped off of my body at which point I landed on that hard gym floor in my tighty whities.
There were dozens of kids in that gym. Boys. Girls. And best of all Tony Patterson. Who was laughing hysterically.
You could call it karma, not that Tony would believe in such a concept.
Until I BLOG again...All the white boys!
He also believed Jesus was white and had a crew cut.
Which is why you could call it karma.
It was in that make shift locker room of my grade school, that Gordon and I were teasing Tony about his brand of Christianity.
Gordon said, "Tony, you know Jesus had long hair..."
Gordon would always pause after that opening line. Let it set there unanswered for a few tense moments before he landed the zinger, "...Like a long haired....HIPPIE!"
Tony did not believe Jesus has long hair as I've already stated. Tony also believed that hippies, with their long hair, funky clothing, and wanton ways, were all devil loving, morally bankrupt individuals who were going to hell. Which is why Tony would become enraged when Gordon made these type of comments.
Then you had me, who said, "I don't think Jesus was white either Tony, he was from the middle east and a Jew, and most people from over there are NOT white."
Tony was extremely white. Blonde hair that was nearly white, blue eyes, and pale skin which meant when he became enraged at our blasphemous taunts his pale cheeks became inflamed a bright red.
The final straw for Tony was when we reminded him, in that fighting mad state that not only was Jesus a long haired hippie, more than likely swarthy, and a Jew from the Middle East, he was also a pacifist.
That sent Tony over the edge. At which point Gordon and I who had already changed into our gym clothes, would run out of the locker room to escape his rampage.
Which is why you could call it karma. You see BLOG reader, it was at the end of that gym class, in front of the 4th, 5th, and 6th grades, that I was attempting to dismount the trampoline.
God love the 1970s of my youth. You could actually employ a trampoline in gym class sans padding, or guards, in the middle of a gym with hardwood floors without fear of being sued if some dumb ass kid did something stupid on the trampoline.
Which was good, because I was that dumb ass kid disembarking the trampoline when my extremely short, terrycloth gym shorts caught on one of the trampoline springs. Problem was I didn't know that yet, I wouldn't know I was stuck until I was hanging by said shorts above the gym floor.
Yes.
Hanging.
In a karmic wedgie of Biblical proportion. Until that terrycloth fabric surrendered to the trampoline spring and gravity and ripped off of my body at which point I landed on that hard gym floor in my tighty whities.
There were dozens of kids in that gym. Boys. Girls. And best of all Tony Patterson. Who was laughing hysterically.
You could call it karma, not that Tony would believe in such a concept.
Until I BLOG again...All the white boys!
Comments
Post a Comment