Good Vibrations
I was sick. Fucking cold. And hurt. Fucking F350 that plowed into my car. Which is why I stood, for far too long, in front of an Enterprise Rental counter while my rental agent talked in circles with the insurance company.
"Sir?" The agent said, looking up from his hidden computer screen. A screen I so wanted to catch a glimpse of.
"Yes?"
I stood on my tip toes trying to get tall enough to look over the counter and at his hidden screen.
"The accident wasn't your fault? Correct?"
"Correct. That's his insurance company you are talking to. He rear ended me."
"Thank you."
And with that the agent went back to his secret screen.
Bored I turned to my right just as a rude college aged kid threw his rental keys on the counter and demanded in his broken English is my second language accent,"I need ride. Herb's. Now!"
I shook my head and turned to my left as a shitload of people walked into the office.
"Spring Break," My agent who must have read my face said. "That's why I'm having a hard time with the insurance company. What we have that we can put you in. I could put you in something for a few days and then..."
"No." I said shaking my head. "I'm not doing that. I don't care to be honest. I'm only going to be in it for a week and as long as it is big enough to get two kids in the back, I'm good."
He nodded and went back to that secret screen below the counter while the rude young man next to me, who was of Asian descent started rambling to his rental car agent about some damage to his returned car.
"It there. Tell you. There. Girl say so. Say put it in computer. Looky at computer. Looky!"
"I'm sure it was, sir." He said. "And I'm sure it is in the system. I need for my supervisor to inspect it though."
"Call girl at Enterprise. She tell you. She tell you. It there. She said she'd put it on paperwork. Looky computer. I busy. Need ride to Herbs!"
"I'm sure it is there, sir."
"Looky computer! Looky computer! I not try cheat you. I need go Herb's!"
Fuck me I thought shaking my head. What a beating. Meanwhile more people kept filing into the small office.
"Sir." The supervisor said to the rude Asian guy. "We're going to go inspect the car and then we'll come back and take care of it and get you on the shuttle to Herb's."
"Looky computer!"
But they didn't. Instead, damn near every agent in the office walked out to the returned rental car and circled it, pointing at the damage that wasn't visible from where I stood. Eventually one of the guys took a photo.
This freaked Asian guy out. Bad.
"It there. It there." He implored to me.
"Dude." I said. "I don' care. You better check check your rental agreement or you're going to get screwed."
Asian dude didn't say anything, simply threw his bag down and started rifling through it as all the agent walked back into the office and to their posts.
I said to the supervisor who was standing in front of Asian guy, "You guys are freaking him out," when Asian guy squealed and shouted, "Looky here! Looky here!" Pointing at his rental agreement.
"It right here."
He held it up for the supervisor to inspect.
"See it right here. If I make that mark. Why not I show you first. Just now found."
"Dude," I said. "You're not doing yourself any favors saying that. Sounds like you are trying to out fox them."
The rental guys smiled at me. And the Asian guy looked nervous and finally, thankfully, shut up, as another lage group of people walked into the office.
It was at this point, tired, sore, and sick, that my rental agent said, "Sir, we're going to put you in a..." He looked down at the secret screen one last time and then continued, "We'll put you in a Vibe."
"What the fuck is a Vibe?" I said in the extremely full Enterprise Rental Car Office.
The agent, flustered, again looked down at that damn screen and then looked up and said weakly, "It's a Pontiac Mr. Tinsley."
Realizing that I had dropped the F bomb in a crowded place I smiled and said, "Never mind me dude. I"m sore from that jackass rear ending me and I'm fighting a cold so I'm hopped up on cold meds."
This confused the agent even more, and he again, looked down at the screen, no doubt for an answer that didn't exist. Eventually he looked up, completely baffled so I said, "Dude. Sorry. That's my 'vibe'."
Fast forward nearly two weeks and I'm still in the Vibe. A car, I didn't know existed, three weeks ago. But now that I'm in one, I'm always noticing others on the road. And I find myself giving them a wave of solidarity like people in say Jeeps do. Only thing. Vibe drivers won't wave back. They won't even nod.
So this is what aboynamestu has decided to do Blog reader. When the day comes, eventually, for me to take the Vibe back. I'm going to leave a CD in it's player. A CD that has "Feel the Vibration" written in black sharpie + the url to this here blog asking the driver to pay it forward, and leave the CD in the car. And on that CD, there will be nothing but one song. Repeated. Over and over. Or at least as many times as it will fit on a standard size CD. And that song is, Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and his Funky Bunch. 'Cause Marky Mark was right. It is always time, to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme.
"I'm a get mine so get yours."
Indeed.
Until I BLOG again...Donnie D break it down.
"Sir?" The agent said, looking up from his hidden computer screen. A screen I so wanted to catch a glimpse of.
"Yes?"
I stood on my tip toes trying to get tall enough to look over the counter and at his hidden screen.
"The accident wasn't your fault? Correct?"
"Correct. That's his insurance company you are talking to. He rear ended me."
"Thank you."
And with that the agent went back to his secret screen.
Bored I turned to my right just as a rude college aged kid threw his rental keys on the counter and demanded in his broken English is my second language accent,"I need ride. Herb's. Now!"
I shook my head and turned to my left as a shitload of people walked into the office.
"Spring Break," My agent who must have read my face said. "That's why I'm having a hard time with the insurance company. What we have that we can put you in. I could put you in something for a few days and then..."
"No." I said shaking my head. "I'm not doing that. I don't care to be honest. I'm only going to be in it for a week and as long as it is big enough to get two kids in the back, I'm good."
He nodded and went back to that secret screen below the counter while the rude young man next to me, who was of Asian descent started rambling to his rental car agent about some damage to his returned car.
"It there. Tell you. There. Girl say so. Say put it in computer. Looky at computer. Looky!"
"I'm sure it was, sir." He said. "And I'm sure it is in the system. I need for my supervisor to inspect it though."
"Call girl at Enterprise. She tell you. She tell you. It there. She said she'd put it on paperwork. Looky computer. I busy. Need ride to Herbs!"
"I'm sure it is there, sir."
"Looky computer! Looky computer! I not try cheat you. I need go Herb's!"
Fuck me I thought shaking my head. What a beating. Meanwhile more people kept filing into the small office.
"Sir." The supervisor said to the rude Asian guy. "We're going to go inspect the car and then we'll come back and take care of it and get you on the shuttle to Herb's."
"Looky computer!"
But they didn't. Instead, damn near every agent in the office walked out to the returned rental car and circled it, pointing at the damage that wasn't visible from where I stood. Eventually one of the guys took a photo.
This freaked Asian guy out. Bad.
"It there. It there." He implored to me.
"Dude." I said. "I don' care. You better check check your rental agreement or you're going to get screwed."
Asian dude didn't say anything, simply threw his bag down and started rifling through it as all the agent walked back into the office and to their posts.
I said to the supervisor who was standing in front of Asian guy, "You guys are freaking him out," when Asian guy squealed and shouted, "Looky here! Looky here!" Pointing at his rental agreement.
"It right here."
He held it up for the supervisor to inspect.
"See it right here. If I make that mark. Why not I show you first. Just now found."
"Dude," I said. "You're not doing yourself any favors saying that. Sounds like you are trying to out fox them."
The rental guys smiled at me. And the Asian guy looked nervous and finally, thankfully, shut up, as another lage group of people walked into the office.
It was at this point, tired, sore, and sick, that my rental agent said, "Sir, we're going to put you in a..." He looked down at the secret screen one last time and then continued, "We'll put you in a Vibe."
"What the fuck is a Vibe?" I said in the extremely full Enterprise Rental Car Office.
The agent, flustered, again looked down at that damn screen and then looked up and said weakly, "It's a Pontiac Mr. Tinsley."
Realizing that I had dropped the F bomb in a crowded place I smiled and said, "Never mind me dude. I"m sore from that jackass rear ending me and I'm fighting a cold so I'm hopped up on cold meds."
This confused the agent even more, and he again, looked down at the screen, no doubt for an answer that didn't exist. Eventually he looked up, completely baffled so I said, "Dude. Sorry. That's my 'vibe'."
Fast forward nearly two weeks and I'm still in the Vibe. A car, I didn't know existed, three weeks ago. But now that I'm in one, I'm always noticing others on the road. And I find myself giving them a wave of solidarity like people in say Jeeps do. Only thing. Vibe drivers won't wave back. They won't even nod.
So this is what aboynamestu has decided to do Blog reader. When the day comes, eventually, for me to take the Vibe back. I'm going to leave a CD in it's player. A CD that has "Feel the Vibration" written in black sharpie + the url to this here blog asking the driver to pay it forward, and leave the CD in the car. And on that CD, there will be nothing but one song. Repeated. Over and over. Or at least as many times as it will fit on a standard size CD. And that song is, Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and his Funky Bunch. 'Cause Marky Mark was right. It is always time, to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme.
"I'm a get mine so get yours."
Indeed.
Until I BLOG again...Donnie D break it down.
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